your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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