You're completely useless in the revolution.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
