I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
