So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
She announced her abortion via fbk
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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