his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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