i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
