OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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