i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
