i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
