I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize