Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
