i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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