Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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