Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Is it penis luge time yet?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
This couple is walking their pig around campus
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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