I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He did a backflip because drugs
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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