What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
