Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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