How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
