Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
