he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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