on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize