I cockslap morals
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
