??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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