you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
