I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
