he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
