She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
