hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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