Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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