i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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