dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
