hell yes lets make some ravioli
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
