I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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