: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
