you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize