Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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