they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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