They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
