I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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