escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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