Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
