Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
