i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
