There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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