She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i dont even know how to be here
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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