I'm so fucking centered right now
i may or may not be watching the land before time
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
