my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
