The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
even my farts smell like vagina
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
