He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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