Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
