just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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