If i come over, it means nothing
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
