I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
areolas are like halos for boobs.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
