he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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