are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
there is glitter all over my balls
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