i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
