Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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