3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
