We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
