she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
