so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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