Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
