I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
