I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
